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Imagine my surprise, then, when I received an invitation to apply for the exclusive Black Card from VISA, which (according to the marketing mumbo-jumbo) is the world’s most prestigious and versatile credit card. The invitation exuded exclusivity and hubris. After all, why would I want to use a credit card that common people (riff-raff) use when I can show the world my elegant distinction with the swanky black card? Um, I call bollocks! Before I deconstruct the BS that is the mentality allowing the Black Card to exist, here are the card’s bullet points:
You read that right – the annual fee, just for the so-called privilege of carrying the card, is $495 per year. And what does that staggering membership fee grant you, other than the privilege of looking like an idiot? Here’s the unedited text of the advert:
This, to me, is nothing more than PR spin. Why in the world does a credit card need to be prestigious anyway? That’s like food or beverages that need to be extreme. Are there really people out there who are so insecure that they feel the need to stroke their egos by plinking down a prestigious credit card on a store counter versus a normal one? I pity them.  I say, that's quite an exquisite credit card. The marketing-geniuses behind the Black Card want you to believe that you are a superior human being. You are so superior, in fact, that you deserve, nay, DEMAND only the best of what life has to offer. You shouldn’t be caught dead carrying an ordinary credit card. Common people use those! And you’re not common, are you? As a new Black Card member, people will notice you. Women will throw themselves at you. Men will line up to give you high-fives. Peasants and other mere-mortals will make sweeping bows as you walk by. In fact, here is how a typical scene will play out every time you make a purchase with your card: Hot store clerk: The total is $29.50. VISA Black Cardmember: Here you go (hands over Black card). Hot store clerk: Nice card. I definitely notice you and feel an uncontrollable urge to sleep with you right now. VISA Black Cardmember: That sounds great. It’s too bad I have such a small penis. Yeah, I went there. This brings us to the crux of the matter. The creators of the VISA Black Card take advantage of the one thing that allows such a ridiculous card to exist: INSECURITY. It preys upon people’s feelings of not being good enough, smart enough, talented enough, successful enough, or satisfied enough with their bodily endowments. These feelings are natural. We are all humans, after all. Insecurity drives people to attempt to make up for their perceived shortcomings in other ways: by flaunting wealth, by driving souped-up cars and revving engines annoyingly in public, by keeping up with the Jones’, and by paying exorbitant fees for an exclusive credit card.
VISA’s slogan for the Black Card is: The World Awaits. Hey VISA, I propose a few slogans for your marketing team to consider. Alternative slogans VISA Black Card – Drowning in debt has never been more stylish! VISA Black Card – THE card for people with more money than brains! VISA Black Card – Show the world what a douche you are! If you run a small business or do any freelancing, you need a convenient way to send invoices to clients. Sure, you can keep track of all customer information in a spreadsheet, but you can also use an online invoicing tool. While I don’t have hundreds of clients for my side projects, I still get [...] Now that I have a new job, my wife and I will be moving to Texas soon. We own the house where we live now, so we had to make a decision: do we try to sell or rent our home? If you have a Chase Freedom card, you have likely received a letter from them touting some upcoming improvements to your account. I received my letter a little over a week ago, and I giddily responded here. Just for the record, I defended my doctoral dissertation today! I guess that means Mr. B is now Dr. B? Sounds strange…. Update: read some continued commentary on this topic here. What’s the worst online savings or money market account that you can think of? Chase/WaMu? No. E*Trade? Goodness, no. How about OnBank? No, but their current rate (0.50%) does totally suck. |
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To the best of my knowledge, I’m not a pretentious jerk-wad. Nor is my ego inflated by enticements of luxury and exclusivity. I’ve never owned a “Members-only” jacket, if that means anything at all.
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